It takes courage to confront other leaders when they exhibit poor behavior.
There is no structure, no set of processes or practices, no goals or objectives you can establish that can survive bad leader behavior. For example, work can be derailed before it even starts if your team hears comments like this from a sponsor: “Just get started,” “Stop planning and start doing,” “I don’t care, get moving.” And they can respond by inappropriately cutting corners after work has begun if they are told: “We have to have it by this date and it’s non-negotiable!” or “We just have to get it done” or “Just do it!”. These, and phrases like them, have prompted the death of thousands of efforts that otherwise could have been successful.
You may have done everything necessary to implement the right level of structure, guardrails, and mindsets for your team to create sustainable success but throw it away at the first sign of pressure from a senior leader. The strength you demonstrate when things are not going well will determine the success of an effort as things rarely proceed perfectly from start to finish. When things go wrong, you have the opportunity to demonstrate flexibility, creative thinking (e.g., what would have to be true to change our current course), and courage.
So why might a leader demonstrate poor behavior when things are not going well? Why does he not recognize the reality of the problems and support the team to get to the next best possible outcome? Fear is one reason. Fear of losing his job if the work is not done on schedule or within budget or with the right quality. Fear of disappointing his leader if he says it cannot be completed by the desired date. Fear someone else will be viewed as more competent and will “take” his next promotion. These reasons are particularly true for new leaders as they are striving to make a name for themselves.
Fear is a common reason, but not the only one. Perhaps the person made a commitment before he knew whether the team could abide by it. Or perhaps the person is inherently egotistical and a jerk. There are any number of reasons we behave the way we do. When evaluating potential reasons for someone’s behavior (or your own behavior), it is important to consider the feelings that could be driving it. If, for example, you determine a new leader on your team fears someone will discover he was not truly ready to lead a large team engaged in complex work, you will take different action than if the reason for his behavior is aggravation from being pressured by a peer to cut corners he should not. In the first case, you may provide counsel and assign support from others accustomed to complex work. In the second, you may address his peer directly, coach him on how to do so (highly recommended as leaders confront other leaders in support of their teams), or engage another leader to assist with the conversation if it is a better approach under the circumstances. Recognizing the underlying reason for bad behavior allows you to address it appropriately.
When the pressure is on, stress is high, and you must stick to your guns and declare the work cannot be completed as initially planned, do you? Or do you turn to your team and tell them to “get after it”? Do you exhibit bad behaviors, or do you display courage? Exceptional leaders do not permit bad behavior to impact the work, including their own. Quite the opposite. They shield their teams from such behavior and maintain the structure required for their teams to deliver work successfully in a safe environment where they can correct problems as they occur. And when problems occur, they ask what would have to be true to resolve them. They also recognize that sometimes the answer is those things cannot be true and something needs to change.
It takes courage to prevent fear from creeping into your thinking. It takes even more courage to have difficult conversations with other leaders when they exhibit poor behavior. Having the courage to address these behaviors alleviates pressure on your team, although it does not necessarily relieve it for you. Challenging someone can be extremely difficult, especially when you are doing so to call out their behavior and how it is negatively impacting your team. I have found one approach to be particularly useful when confronting others. Begin by remembering how you say things matters as much as what you say. How do you think someone will react if you come out with guns blazing, telling her she is wrong, and her behavior is derailing everything? How would you react? The person will likely take offense, put up her defenses, and not be able to hear you. Rather than coming at the person full force and assigning blame, change your approach to one where you ask for help. It is rare for someone to not want to help resolve problems. Perhaps this leader is causing problems by inhibiting the team’s progress through the planning cycle; she is rushing the team, preventing them from getting the information they need to ensure they can deliver to the desired schedule and cost. If you state the need to finish planning and discuss the problems you see coming if the team does not do so and you get pushback, you can ask how she would resolve the gaps. Maybe she has good ideas you and the team had not considered. Maybe not. But with the conversation being one centered around an ask for help, you have a greater chance of arriving at a place of understanding than if you confront the person differently.
Sometimes, the person is not being rational, and this approach doesn’t work. Sometimes you have to call a person out directly to shock her into understanding the negative impact she is having on the team and the work. And sometimes you have to escalate if the person does not respond properly. I have found this to be the case infrequently, though. Most conflict with other leaders can be addressed by openly discussing problems in a culturally appropriate way (the how you say things) and by asking for help and asking the person to be a part of the solution. As with many aspects of being a leader, this is so much easier said than done. But it is something that can be practiced, and with practice comes greater comfort and better results.
Share your thoughts below.
What techniques have you found to be effective when confronting other leaders about the impact of their behavior?
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